I went to the Houston Rodeo this weekend. If you know me you probably wonder WTF I was doing there since I’m only slightly more “country” than Donald Trump. Well, the answer is I was invited by some very nice people who treated us to a first class experience. I won’t tell you who they were because I don’t want them to have to admit they know me but I can tell you that Houston society knows how to throw down, are very gracious and totally know how to make a yankee feel welcome.
I also went because I dig different cultural experiences and it’s just one of those things you should do if you are ever in Texas. Besides, I was kidnapped but it’s all good now because I was fed well and had plenty to drink. Anyway, the rodeo is something to behold because the cowboys that participate are certifiably insaine, which for some reason makes for all the best sporting events (race car drivers, hockey players, you get the idea… ). I also think “Psychotic Cowboys” sounds like a good name for a heavy metal band. I mean really, if it isn’t possible for someone to get killed it just doesn’t feel like a sport. Of course you don’t want anyone to actually get hurt but if the mere possiblity doesn’t exist I’m not sure it’s a real sport. So on to the cowboys in the Rodeo.
They’re nuts.
Allow me to frame this for you: a roughly 5’5″ man weighing about 150lbs climbs on a 1800lb animal with horns and tries to stay on for 8 seconds. But apparently that’s not crazy enough so they put a strap around the bulls balls to really piss him off (it’d piss me off). Awesome!
Now if you might think that “you can do anything for 8 seconds, it can’t be that hard” should really think again, or go out for the rodeo and find out the hard way. You can also watch the little video I call “52 Seconds Of Madness”. As soon as the cowboy falls off the clowns have to run over to the bull to pull the strap off it’s testicles. I’m pretty sure these guys are even crazier than the coyboy that just fell off his bull.
Of course the rodeo has lot’s of beer, boots and more cowboy hats than I’ve ever seen in one place and I felt a little naked without one but I think they could all tell I’m a yankee even though I have some good boots so they didn’t make fun of me.
If you are ever in Texas during a rodeo you should try it. No, I’m serious, open your mind and give it a whirl, just once… but if someone walks up to you with a leather strap slung over their shoulder and a gleam in their eye, RUN!
